Singleness Is Not a Setback—Rise Above Loneliness
Singleness: A Season of Opportunity, Not Lack
Singleness, as defined by many, is either a longing period before getting a husband or a fun time before getting a wife. LOL. Let’s be honest—people view singleness in all sorts of ways. But for many, it’s seen as a waiting period, something to endure until something greater comes along. I want y’all singles to shift your perspective because singleness is not about lack—it’s about opportunity. And you don’t have to take my word for it. We can look at some biblical figures who thrived in their singleness, using it as a time of growth and purpose.
My Early Perspective on Singleness
I remember being young and wanting to be married. In fact, my home education teacher asked me the classic question: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" My response? "A wife and a mother." To my surprise, she definitely tried to steer me toward a more realistic identity for my future. LOL. She was married, so it wasn’t that she was against marriage, but she probably wanted to help me avoid disappointment when it came to longing for marriage. I’ll get into a few of those disappointments later. But I will say, I struggled with feelings of loneliness in my singleness, seeing it more as a curse than a blessing.
Years later, I see things differently. So many people feel the same way, viewing singleness as a season of loneliness. But let’s take a look at some folks who embraced singleness to serve God.
Biblical Figures Who Thrived in Singleness
Jeremiah: Called to a Life of Singleness
Jeremiah’s singleness was on the extreme side—he was commanded by God to remain single and not have children. Jeremiah 16:2 Given the judgment coming upon Israel and his calling as a prophet, it would have been a difficult and sorrowful life for him and any potential family. His singleness allowed him to focus fully on the Lord and his message to the people.
Anna the Prophetess: Devoted to God
Anna’s singleness was unique as well. She was married for only seven years before becoming a widow. In those times, remarriage was considered important, especially for a young woman. But Anna remained a widow and, at 84 years old, had dedicated her years to serving the Lord through fasting and prayer. She hoped for the Messiah and the redemption of Jerusalem—and her prayers were answered when she saw the infant Jesus in the temple (Luke 2:36-38).
Apostle Paul: Singleness for the Sake of the Gospel
Of course, we all know about the singleness of the Apostle Paul. His unmarried state allowed him to remain unencumbered in his Gospel work, moving about freely to spread the message of Jesus Christ. He wasn’t against marriage, but he recognized that singleness offered unique opportunities for service to God.
Shifting Your Perspective on Singleness
In an era where our time is constantly filled with entertainment, work, and social obligations, many still find themselves focused on the loneliness of being single. Maybe you’re looking at it from the wrong lens. Instead of seeing singleness as a lonely place and wallowing in it, view it as a time for spiritual growth.
Singleness provides the ability to focus on God’s work without extra distractions or hindrances. This is not to say marriage is bad—far from it. Those who marry have obligations to their spouses and families. You can still serve Jesus while married, but you also have a duty to your family. When you’re single, though, nothing is stopping you from devoting your time to God’s work. Isn’t this what Paul was talking about?
Paul’s Teaching on Singleness
Paul had quite a bit to say about singleness in 1 Corinthians. He taught that our statuses—whether single or married—are gifts. Some are called to marriage, while others are called to singleness. But he made it clear that singleness is beneficial for serving the Lord.
Given the work of the early church, I can only imagine how much time was taken up by visiting and establishing churches. Airplanes certainly make it easier today! LOL. Paul also understood that some people needed to be married due to their fleshly desires (1 Corinthians 7:9). But he also knew that marriage came with additional difficulties—every relationship has challenges, but marriage intertwines lives in a deep way. Still, he emphasized that both states—singleness and marriage—are gifts from God.
That’s why it’s so important to recognize the abilities that come with being single. Don’t focus on loneliness—focus on the opportunities that come with singleness. Serve God without distractions, and embrace the gift of this season.
Embrace Your Singleness with Purpose
At this point, you have a few choices about how to approach your singleness. You could sit around and wallow in loneliness, letting your thoughts spiral into sadness. But what does that accomplish? All it brings is more tears and despair. Or, you could make a rash decision and enter into an ungodly relationship, sinning against your body and the Lord in the process. On the other hand, rushing into marriage just for the sake of having a title—thinking it will fix something—can also lead to complications and regret.
But what if you chose to change your mindset about being single? What would happen if you saw this time differently?
Spiritual Growth and Strength
Singleness can actually be a time for immense spiritual growth. Without the distractions of a romantic relationship, you have a unique opportunity to allow the Holy Spirit to work in your life, molding you into who God wants you to be. You can pour more time into prayer, Bible study, and personal reflection. Even if you're raising children or balancing other responsibilities, there are still ways you can draw closer to God. Singleness is an opportunity to make serving Him a priority—whether that's by studying His Word, serving your church family, or finding ways to give back to the community.
This time can also help you build deeper, more meaningful relationships with others. It's not about isolating yourself; it's about investing more in those around you. You can mentor, volunteer, support missions, or even start a ministry. This is a season to pour into others while also growing in your own faith.
“But godliness with contentment is great gain.”
1 Timothy 6:6 (KJV)
Finding Contentment Right Where You Are
Instead of waiting for marriage to begin your life, why not find contentment right where you are? I know it’s easy to feel like something is missing or that you’re incomplete without a partner. But we’ve been told over and over again in Scripture that contentment doesn’t come from our circumstances, but from our relationship with Christ. Think about what the Apostle Paul said in Philippians 4:11—he was able to be content whether he had much or little. And the same applies to us in our singleness: contentment isn’t about our relationship status; it’s about being anchored in Jesus.
Rather than complaining about what you don’t have, remember what Paul also tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18: “In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” When we focus on what we do have—on the blessings right in front of us—thankfulness begins to replace dissatisfaction.
True contentment comes from God, not from any relationship status. Remember, our eternal hope is not found in earthly relationships—marriage won’t be carried over into heaven. We will be united with Christ, our true Bridegroom, for eternity.
Thriving in Your Singleness
I don’t want you to just survive this season of singleness—I want you to thrive in it and embrace it fully. Instead of focusing on what’s lacking, focus on the blessings God has given you right now. You are not in a season of lack; this isn’t a time to just "wait it out." Singleness is not a waiting period for your life to begin—it’s a season of purpose, growth, and joy.
The world tells us that fulfillment comes through relationships, but true contentment can only be found in Christ. God has a plan for every season of your life, including this one. Trust in His timing, seek His will, and embrace this time as an opportunity to grow closer to Him, serve others, and find joy in what He’s doing in your life right now.
Singleness is not a lesser season—it’s a unique time to experience God’s goodness in powerful ways. Don’t rush through it or waste it. Use this time to build a deeper relationship with God, pursue passions that glorify Him, and serve others in ways that might not be possible later. Embrace your singleness and allow God to do amazing things in this season.
