What Does Love Look Like?

Reflection

You know what comes naturally to my flesh? Losing my patience. If someone is moving slowly when I am trying to get somewhere, I can feel that irritation begin to rise. Maybe I am in a hurry and someone is standing in the way, or perhaps someone says something that rubs me the wrong way. In those moments, patience does not always feel like the most natural response.

Christlike love goes deeper than controlling our words—it changes the way we see the person in front of us.

And that is exactly why this verse challenges me. We often hear 1 Corinthians 13 read at weddings, and rightly so. It is a beautiful description of love. But when we slow down and really examine Paul's words, we discover that he is showing us much more than a beautiful definition for romantic love. He is showing us what love looks like when it encounters other people, including the people who irritate us, disappoint us, inconvenience us, or even succeed where we wish we had.

Paul begins by telling us that "charity suffereth long, and is kind." Love is patient, but it is also kind. Those two qualities belong together. It is possible to hold our tongue while still being unkind in our hearts. We may not say anything harsh, but inside we are irritated, resentful, and wishing the other person would simply hurry up or leave us alone.

Think about the patience God has shown toward us. How many times have we failed, misunderstood, complained, acted selfishly, or responded in ways that did not honor Him? Yet the Lord has continued to show us kindness and mercy. He has not dealt with us according to what our failures deserve. His patience has given us room to repent, grow, and return to Him.

Remembering His Mercy

There are times when remembering God's kindness toward me is exactly what shakes me out of an unkind attitude. I can be frustrated about something someone else has done, and then I remember how patient God has been with me. I remember the things He has forgiven, the ways He has corrected me without abandoning me, and the countless times His mercy has met me when I did not deserve it. How can I receive that kind of kindness from God and then refuse to extend kindness to someone else?

Paul continues by telling us that love "envieth not." Love does not become threatened by another person's blessings, success, attention, or accomplishments. Envy quietly turns another person's good fortune into something we resent because we wish it belonged to us. Then Paul says that love "vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up." Love does not have to boast about itself or make itself look greater than others. Pride wants recognition. Pride wants to be right. Pride wants to be noticed. Pride can even turn a simple conversation into a competition where someone has to prove that they are smarter, better, or more deserving. But love doesn't need to win that way.

Transformed by the Spirit

When we look at these qualities together, we begin to see that love is not merely about how we feel toward someone. Love is revealed through how we treat them. Patience, kindness, humility, and freedom from envy all require us to look beyond ourselves. They require us to consider another person rather than making every situation about our own feelings, comfort, or desires.

And this is where the gospel gives us hope. Jesus does not simply tell us what love should look like and then leave us to accomplish it through willpower. He has shown us perfect love through His own life and sacrifice. He loved those who rejected Him. He showed compassion to those others overlooked. He patiently taught His disciples even when they misunderstood Him. And ultimately, He gave Himself for sinners who could never repay Him.

As His Spirit works within us, He teaches us to reflect that same love. That does not mean we will never feel irritation, disappointment, jealousy, or pride. We are still being transformed. But we don't have to surrender our behavior to every feeling that rises within us. When the Holy Spirit reveals an impatient or unkind heart, we can bring it to the Lord and ask Him to change us.

Perhaps today the person testing your patience is not there by accident. Maybe that moment is giving you an opportunity to practice the kind of love God has already shown you. Instead of responding according to the flesh, we can remember His patience toward us and choose patience toward someone else. Instead of envying another person's blessing, we can thank God for His goodness toward them and trust Him with our own lives.

Love becomes visible in those ordinary moments.
That is the kind of love Paul describes, and that Christ is forming in us.

Before You Go

Today, pay attention to the moments when your patience is tested. It may happen while you are driving, waiting in a line, talking with a family member, working with someone, or simply dealing with a person whose personality challenges you. Those moments can reveal things in our hearts that we might not notice when everything is going our way. Instead of becoming discouraged when you recognize impatience or unkindness, allow the Lord to use that moment to show you where He is still working.

And when you find yourself struggling to love someone well, remember how much God has already loved you. His patience with you has been greater than you will ever fully understand, and His kindness has met you more times than you could ever count. We are not being asked to give others something God has withheld from us. We are being called to reflect what He has already so generously given.

So before you respond today, pause for a moment. Ask yourself not only, "How do I feel?" but also, "What would love look like right now?" Sometimes the most Christlike response will be a patient word, a kind answer, a refusal to boast, or simply choosing not to allow irritation to have the final say. These may seem like small moments, but they are exactly the places where the character of Christ becomes visible in our lives.