A Love That Cannot Be Bought

Reflection

There have been times in my life when I thought I knew what love was. I was wrong. For a long time, love seemed to be about bartering. It was an exchange where love never really stood alone. It wasn't complete unless there was some kind of gain attached to it. If you do this, then I will do that. If you say this, then I will respond with that. If you love me in this particular way, then I will give something back to you.

God's love is not a transaction—it is freely given through Jesus Christ, and no flood can quench it.

That was the exchange. And I'm not talking only about romantic relationships. I had been hurt early in life, and somewhere along the way, that became the model of love I carried with me. I had learned to see love through the lens of what I received and what I had to give in return.

But the longer I walk with Christ, the more I realize that God's love doesn't work that way. Song of Solomon 8:7 gives us a beautiful picture of a love that cannot simply be extinguished. "Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it."

There is something powerful about that description. Real love cannot always be measured by what it receives in return. It isn't something that can simply be purchased. It cannot be reduced to an exchange where one person gives only because they expect something back.

The verse goes even further. If someone were to offer all the substance of his house for love, it would be rejected. Love cannot be bought. And when I think about the love God has shown us through Jesus Christ, that truth becomes even more beautiful.

A Love Freely Given

God's love was not something we negotiated. We didn't make a deal with Him. We didn't offer Him enough good works, enough obedience, enough righteousness, or enough faithfulness to convince Him that we were worthy of His love. He loved us first. And He demonstrated that love by sending His Son.

That kind of love can be difficult for us to understand if our experience has taught us that love must always be earned, protected, negotiated, or returned in equal measure. But God's love is different. It is freely given.

That doesn't mean God's love ignores sin or tells us that our choices don't matter. Scripture makes that clear. God's love actually moved toward us in our sin through Jesus Christ. He didn't wait until we had made ourselves worthy before He acted.

Secure in His Love

Romans 8 gives us one of the most beautiful descriptions of the security of that love. Paul says that neither death nor life, angels nor principalities, things present nor things to come, height nor depth, nor any other creature can separate us from "the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Think about that. There are things we can lose. People can change. Circumstances can change. Our emotions can change. We can even become uncertain about ourselves. But the love of God in Christ is not something that disappears every time our circumstances change. Paul isn't saying that nothing painful will ever happen to us. He is saying that none of those things have the power to separate us from God's love.

When we understand the love Christ has given us, it begins to change the way we love other people. We don't have to make other people earn every kindness. We don't have to keep a running account of who has done what for whom. We don't have to treat every relationship as an exchange. Instead, we can begin to love from a place of having already received something far greater than anything another person could give us—the love of Christ.

Stop confusing love with control, obligation, or constant exchange—
begin to understand love as something freely given because God has freely loved us.

Before You Go

Maybe you have had experiences that have shaped the way you understand love. Perhaps you learned early that love had to be earned. Maybe you learned that affection could disappear when you didn't behave the right way, or that giving love meant hoping someone would give something back. Whatever your experience has been, I want you to remember something today.

God's love is not a transaction. You cannot buy it. You cannot earn it. You don't have to become impressive enough for Jesus to love you. The Gospel tells us that Christ loved us and gave Himself for us. That love moved toward us when we were still sinners. And when we place our faith in Him, we are not entering into a relationship where we have to continually convince God to keep loving us.

Romans 8 reminds us that nothing can separate those who belong to Christ from the love of God that is in Him. That is the love I want you to remember when you feel unworthy. That is the love I want you to remember when you fail. That is the love I want you to remember when another person's love has disappointed you.

And that is the love I want you to learn to give. You don't have to love others from an empty place, constantly wondering what you will receive in return. You can love from the overflow of what Christ has already given you. His love is not something you have to purchase. It has already been given. And no flood can drown it.